Love, Life and death

Five days ago, I was saddened by the news of the sudden demise of the wife of a friend.

He was a client of mine when I was working in a bank during the last millenium. Through the years we developed quite a rapport and got to know bits and pieces about each other's personal lives. However the `relationship' (if you may call it that) went into hiatus when I left my employment.

I was delighted to receive an invitation from both him and the wife a couple of years back. Being stranded in an unexpected traffic jam, I was about a half hour late for the appointment and the tea which was prepared for me had gone cold together with the kuih. But the reception I got from the couple was much much warmer than the tea. What surprised me though was the fact that it was not the wife I knew from before. For you late bloomers, in simple words, he had taken a new wife!

Later I got to know that he had married her when her husband passed away, leaving her with 4 young kids.Unable to accept being `honeyed', the first wife with whom he has 3 children , filed and obtained a divorce. During the time we did not keep in touch, he and the new wife had 3 children together.

Now, that makes it 10 children between them, some of whom are his, the rest are hers and theirs. There was a family potrait of them with their ten children, which drew a remark from me, ~Mesti meriah kat rumah ni!' Their joint reply was, `Ya , kalau depa semua ada memang meriah'. As it was, only the younger 4 children were with them as all the rest were either in Jordan, Syria or Egypt studying. Imagine having six children studying the Quran, Usuluddin and Syariah! I said a silent prayer for all of them.

News of her sudden death of a stroke at the age of 41 left me sad. Knowing full well that we belong to God the sadness was not due to her untimely passing but for the 4 children she had with her previous husband.

As I look at my nieces and nephews who came to stay during the CNY break, I can only imagine the helplessness the children may feel.

For his children, they may have lost their mother during the divorce, but she is still around to share their ups and downs. For their children, they still have their father although they have lost their mother. But for her children, they have lost their father early on, experienced their mother re-marrying another, and now losing her and leaving them to stay with their step father.

I pray to GOD that my friend will be blessed with the courage to bring up the children with hikmah and that GOD will pave a way for him to carry such a big burden.

I am reminded of God's words, that we are tried only to the extent of our ability to handle the problems and pray that God will help him along the way.

Lesson learnt~ life is shorter than you think

We had a scare, in fact it was so scary that it's 2.43am where I am, and I couldn't sleep a wink.

BB had passed out while driving his car near his kebun 2 days ago. When he came around, he got out of the car to inspect the damage cos he was sure he had hit something. True enough, he had hit some structural root, burst a tyre and damaged some under belly car mechanism.

He was so disoriented that he fell on his back, couldn't move and couldn't utter a single word.

His kebun hands, a few young guys, didn't know what to do and thankfully they called an ambulance and he was brought to the nearest hospital where it was determined that for some reason or other his blood sugar reading was 26, his pulse 109, his BP 129/57. It was quite clear that he had suffered some kind of mild MI (myocardial Infarction). In English~ a heart attack!

I don't know what he told the medical personnel there but he was released into the custody of a friend he had called earlier instead of me, not wanting to scare me.

I was not able to fully grasp the gravity of the situation as he did not say much about what happened.

Morning after, I saw how listless and tired he was although he had a fitful sleep the night before. I had to act fast and I managed to round him up to the GH nearby. At the AE, after describing what happened to him the day before, his case was coded RED and he was rushed through a series of tests and ECG and was promptly warded at the CRW ~ Cardio Rehab Ward.

After some further testing he was diagnosed to have suffered NSTEMI -Non ST Segment Myocardial Infarction , a kind of heart attack which occurs when one or more coronary arteries is partially occluded by a blood clot.

Still, I was able to accept the situation, made all the arrangements and got him comfortable at the ward. I had a good night sleep despite everything that happened as my body was just too tired running around the GH earlier.

But tonight, while visiting him, I heard that a patient in the ward was fighting for his life since 6pm. At 10 pm we heard sobbings and a voice frantically calling for her loved one. I assisted BB off his bed and went towards the voice.

She was a young woman in her very early twenties and she was sobbing her heart out. Her husband had just lost his fight and left her widowed. He was just 25....and they have a young boy of 3 whom the husband told her he missed so much.

All I could do was hold her hands and told her that it is GOD's will and for her to redho' with the situation. All the while I told myself that I was lucky that it was somebody else and not me.

Then it dawned on me, that it was not me, simply because it isn't BB's time yet. It had nothing to do with luck. Someday, somehow his time will come and if I am still around, I would be feeling the same overwhelming sense of loss this young lady was going through. At that time, I am sure there's nothing she cannot forgive him for, if only her forgiveness could bring him back to life. No matter how ill he had been, at least she had him while he was still alive.

I kissed BB's hand and cheek, told him to take care and that I will be back early tomorrow morning with his coffee. I vowed to live our lives in the future with that much more respect for the sanctity and fragility that was life.

His name was Muhammad Shahril and please give a prayer to his soul who is meeting his Maker on a FRIDAY...al Fatihah

'Death will not come ahead and it will not be delayed.'

3.54am

Dalam Ingatan

Hari Juma`at lepas, selepas kelas di PAKSI*, aku berlari-lari anak mengejar dia. Sebabnya? Hendak ambil buku catatan percuma yang diedarkan oleh PAKSI. Tujuan pemberian buku ini ialah untuk menarik minat sesiapa yang belum mengikuti kelas agama percuma setiap hari Juma`at untuk turut serta berilmu dan beramal.

Setelah memberi dan menjawab salam, bukupun bertukar tangan. Aku dan makngah bergegas ke restoran sebelah Menara Zakat untuk menjamu selera. Selalunya, kalau berdua, memang inilah rutin kami. Ikan keli goreng , ikan keli bakar, cecah air asam memang scavorite (aka favorite). Di selang seli dengan ulam-ulaman dan juga gado-gado, hmmm....memang sedap!

Di situ, aku sekali lagi terserempak dengan dia. Aku tegur lagi,`La, makan kat sini jugak ka?' Tersengih-sengih sambil mengangguk. Berseorangan dia hari ini aku fikir, selalunya isterinya ikut serta.

Pagi Ahad, aku menerjah kelas Ustaz Zainal Asri. Tauhid bukanlah kelas yang aku suka miss, sebab Tauhid perlu dipelajari dari GURU secara berdepan, dan Ustaz Zainal Asri adalah ustaz scavorite.

Pada penghujung kelas, kami diberitahu, bahawa dia telah dimasukkan ke WAD HD di Hospital Sultanah Bahiyah kerana stroke, pada masa itu tengah koma dan disyaki terdapat blood clot di otak.

Aku berkira-kira, bila nak melawat. Tapi pesanan coklat ku belum terisi, menyebabkan sehingga pagi semalam aku masih belum menziarah.

Akhirnya pada pukul 10 pagi semalam, aku mendapat berita bahawa Ust Rahman Putra telah menghembuskan nafas yang terakhir malam sebelumnya.

Rasa terkilan , rasa sedih, rasa marah pada diri tidak mendengar suara hati yang berbisik menyuruh menziarah orang yang sakit.

Dalam sekelip mata, tiada lagi antara orang yang bertungkus lumus di dalam kegiatan PAKSI. Paling ku ingati ialah kerana dia lah yang selalu menyelenggara urusan pembesar suara ketika kelas dijalankan.

Al Fatihah kepada aruah, juga seluruh muslimin muslimat yang telah meninggalkan kita. Semoga roh mereka ditempatkan di kalangan orang yang diredhoi oleh ALLAH.

Rasulullah s.a.w pernah bersabda bahawa apabila matinya anak Adam maka terputus amal ibadatnya kecuali tiga perkara, pertama : ilmu yang bermanfaat, kedua : sedekah jariah dan ketiga : doa anak-anak yang soleh.



*PAKSI ~ Pergerakan Kebajikan dan Sosial Islam, sebuah NGO Islam yang sedang bertungkus lumus mengumpul dana untuk mendirikan Darul Hadis di Tok Keling ASTAR)


How fragile life is...when it passes, it seems like it was a dream.