Wednesday, July 23, 2008

about winning battles but losing the war

Recently, i try to reach out to kak chik who is despondent after her husband ordered her prized plant trimmed down mercilessly. What? Yeah! exactly my feeling when i was told of the reason for her lethargic and absolutely-no-mood demeanour.

She has been bragging about the `ganda rusa' in her blog. It grew lush and healthy at the foot of her stone seat in the garden. The last time, I remember making a remark that she ought to get it trimmed down cos some creepy crawlie could raise a family there without being detected. She kind of agreed, albeit reluctantly, cos it seemed that that was about the only plant she grew better than i did. I know she meant to trim it down but had never expected that it was to be so severely ravaged. A similar comparison would be like giving the lion king a crew cut!

Still, sis...a plant would grow back...perhaps even more lush than you remember. As with all things in life, new life is breathed into when the old parts are done away with. And i pointed out to her that if she were to look closely, she would see that new shoots are already sprouting, promising a rebirth of the ganda rusa she loved so much.

But what might not heal, is all the hurtful things we say and do when we are angry. All she wants was an apology from the better half, which as we all know, is like waiting for the fruit that will never drop (A literal translation of a Malay proverb~menunggu buah yang tak gugur) I am afraid that the damage would have been done in their relationship by the time all the anger and disappointment seeped away.

Is it worth getting the apology but losing the relationship? The only way the heart heals is when it learns to forgive.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

apa dah jadi?

Hari Jumaat, penghulu segala hari. Hari yang di anugerah kepada umat Nabi Muhammad saw. untuk menambah ibadah sebagai bekalan di sana nanti. Malah juga di anugerahkan sesaat di mana segala doa dan munajat akan di perkenankan yang Maha Esa. Niat di hati,nak lewatkan sedikit solat Isya’, tidur sekejap, bangun nanti, boleh solat Tahajjud sekali. Niatnya murni sekali, pahala mesti dicari, dosa mesti dihindari.

Tapi telinga ku telah dikencing syaitan!

Terjaga saja…kenapa terang sangat malam ni eh? Check aje jam, MasyaALLAH! Jangankan Tahajjud, malah Subuh pun aku dah tersasar! Dah 7.20 pagi!

Sememangnya, sejak dua minggu ni aku ditinggalkan seorang di rumah (ayang ke kolej, pa dia ke Mekah menunaikan Umrah) susah aku melelapkan mata… which is the main motivating factor for starting this blog) So agaknya segala kepenatan dan ke`tidak tiduran’ selama dua minggu tu berkumpul and everything culminated in one the most deep sleep I ever experienced. Too bad it all happened on the one night which I was waiting for all week. In fact, it should not have happened on any night at all.

So, the guilty conscience prevailed the whole day. Nothing I did all day seemed to make me feel alright.

Ya Allah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim...pelihara lah diri hamba mu ini dari terjerumus ke arah bisikan syaitan mahupun kelesuan di sebabkan nafsu. Aku berlindung dari segala fitnah dunia, fitnah mati, siksa kubur dan fitnah Dajjal alMasih.

(Ayang, you decided to skip coming home this weekend and I'm happy to hear that you seem to be settling in nicely~ hope you have a fruitful time and I hope to visit you tomorrow)


Thursday, May 22, 2008

the constant gardener


The Constant Gardener was a really moving story starring Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz. What is it with Ralph Fiennes that really intrigue me? He has a knack for choosing movies which move you..remember The English Patient;? Ralph and Juliette Binoche starred in that one.(Juliette was the heroine in Chocolat, another beautiful movie with my other favorite actor, Johnny Depp)

The Constant Gardener ~ deals with heavy stuff the world is facing. Pharmaceutical companies and their underhanded tactics of illicit drug testing in third world countries; human stories which tug at your heart strings, and how the human spirit stands up to fight for it's rights when it involves the ones that matter to you. [And of course, the English Patient..i just want to cry...]

I was doing my gardening this morning as usual..which was why I remembered the movie. Although there's hardly any earth-moving story behind my morning activity, these few observations crossed my mind while I was pulling out the weed:

1) you don't need to plant weed~ it'll just grow. The more you let it be, the more it thrives.
2) in complete contrast, plants that you want to grow, you have to sow, nurture, ensure it gets all the required nutrients for it to grow well, still, sometimes despite all your effort it will just die.

What has this observation got to do with us?
My point~ kids are like plants. If we let them be, they'll grow to be just like weed. And the more we let them be, the weed will thrive and it might even choke other plants.
Kids need nurturing, love, attention, sunshine, disciplining (most plants require pruning to maintain shape and encourage new foliage/ flowering) and a whole lot of Doa (there are things beyond our mere mortal control)

Love your kids and nurture them. Pull out the weed.

(Ayang, mama doakan you'll turn out okay...I 've given my best effort and my hope is for you to go out there and remember tugas kita sebagai Khalifah di bumi Allah)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

my first post

What shall i write , what shall it be? My sister is an avid blogger and says that i should start.. Maybe itu cara dia nak bagitau, i leave too many and too long comments in her postings.


We were just talking..my sister and i, about my daughter who has just enrolled for her matriculation course. Anak i ni cakap baju dia tak cukup..she was back for her weekend recently...and dia bagitau..`mama tau tak...budak2 kat situ pakai baju glamour-glamour, some tu berkelip kelap macam mak datin' not in an envious tone..more like terkejut. Saja nak test I tanya dia..~Naper? Ayang nak ke baju macam tu? Of course she said no, thank God. Why are kids nowadays so in a hurry to grow up? Ada banyak masa lagi nak pakai baju macam nak pi kenduri. I'm so glad she share my idea of a teen's dressing..tak payah berkelip-kelip, tak payah tudung yang merambu. Keep it simple and tutup auraat, itu yang penting.

My daughter who in a blink of an eye...has grown up and left the nest. I miss her.