Love, Life and death

Five days ago, I was saddened by the news of the sudden demise of the wife of a friend.

He was a client of mine when I was working in a bank during the last millenium. Through the years we developed quite a rapport and got to know bits and pieces about each other's personal lives. However the `relationship' (if you may call it that) went into hiatus when I left my employment.

I was delighted to receive an invitation from both him and the wife a couple of years back. Being stranded in an unexpected traffic jam, I was about a half hour late for the appointment and the tea which was prepared for me had gone cold together with the kuih. But the reception I got from the couple was much much warmer than the tea. What surprised me though was the fact that it was not the wife I knew from before. For you late bloomers, in simple words, he had taken a new wife!

Later I got to know that he had married her when her husband passed away, leaving her with 4 young kids.Unable to accept being `honeyed', the first wife with whom he has 3 children , filed and obtained a divorce. During the time we did not keep in touch, he and the new wife had 3 children together.

Now, that makes it 10 children between them, some of whom are his, the rest are hers and theirs. There was a family potrait of them with their ten children, which drew a remark from me, ~Mesti meriah kat rumah ni!' Their joint reply was, `Ya , kalau depa semua ada memang meriah'. As it was, only the younger 4 children were with them as all the rest were either in Jordan, Syria or Egypt studying. Imagine having six children studying the Quran, Usuluddin and Syariah! I said a silent prayer for all of them.

News of her sudden death of a stroke at the age of 41 left me sad. Knowing full well that we belong to God the sadness was not due to her untimely passing but for the 4 children she had with her previous husband.

As I look at my nieces and nephews who came to stay during the CNY break, I can only imagine the helplessness the children may feel.

For his children, they may have lost their mother during the divorce, but she is still around to share their ups and downs. For their children, they still have their father although they have lost their mother. But for her children, they have lost their father early on, experienced their mother re-marrying another, and now losing her and leaving them to stay with their step father.

I pray to GOD that my friend will be blessed with the courage to bring up the children with hikmah and that GOD will pave a way for him to carry such a big burden.

I am reminded of God's words, that we are tried only to the extent of our ability to handle the problems and pray that God will help him along the way.

Garden scenes

The garden needs some tidying up




Periwinkles growing wild

In Nature red and green go so well together

Balung ayam-love the colour

Beautiful butterfly shaped

Silver and mauve

Beautiful yellow cattleya, almost 9 inches across in full bloom

MOK-MOK & TAMTIH-yet untamed

Jejari hantu

From Bandung to Surabaya and Lawang/ Malang part 1

I agreed to accompany him. Though he has been there many times, this trip was different cos he wasn't feeling well.

A few days before the trip, his Cardiologist had seen fit to order a multilayer CT scan of his heart. The result was known upon our return...a 90% block in one the vessel. Subhanallah...had I known...

Whatever, we made the trip and Alhamdulillah we returned safely.

We arrived at Husein Sastranegara greeted by a light drizzle that morning. My second time there, but the first was just a hazy memory from all the shopping done. A cup of cappucino (what else? I had to have my morning fix lest I stop functioning) and a long glass of jus tomat (tomato juice) for him set us back only IDR40,000 (RM14)

(Bandara is short for Bandar Udara or airport-the Indonesians are fond of joining words and abbreviating them)



Plants in the vicinity of the airport



Cappucino for her and a long glass of tomato juice for him

I promised myself, this time I will take a closer look at the people. And I did! They love their whistle! Whistles being blown right, left and centre by security guards (locally known as satpam) directing traffic at the airport vicinity. The drizzle which greeted us was to be seen throughout the 8 days and over 900 km journey between the West Java and East Java. The `funny weather' was directly linked to the active volcanic movement they have been experiencing.

In Bandung we stayed at Arion Swiss-Bel...nice place and very close to the train station and Pasar Baru Trade centre. Buy your hotel discount vouchers at agents located at the airport. We managed to get a hefty discount off the rack rates. After a little shopping, we walked through the streets and enjoyed the cool night air and popped in and out of a few factory outlets. The foreign exchange was in our favor, but shopping was not our main intention, rather we were scouting for different experience from run of the mill tourist.

(Waiting to be checked in)

(Fancy a room for 1.2Million albeit rupiah, anyone?)

So we found out...a full set of dentures was available at a Tukang Gigi for IDR100,000 ie equivalent to about RM30-00, a 2 month old super red Arowana for IDR3juta (equivalent to RM1,000), a full meal for two at a decent restaurant consisting of Onchom (a kind of bean) pepes, ulam, sambal, ayam bakar, and heavenly apokat (local lingo for avocado) drinks with chocolate swirls in it for only IDR 52,000 (RM14) (My SIL's bibik made us promised to try the onchom pepes....enak buk, katanya... and it was) He bought me an Indonesian prepaid SIM card for IDR25,000 and i used it to make daily calls to my anakanda in Penang throughout our stay (Murah! A two min call would only cost about 2,000 rupiah!) Short sleeved cotton batik shirts costs IDR30,000 (RM10). Many food outlets sell Bebek and this is not to be mistaken for Kambing (which makes similar sound) cos it is duck meat. We bought a pot of boiled kacang pol (Fava beans XL in size) for IDR15,000

(First night dinner and shopping spoils)

The hotel room comes with 2 buffet breakfast. We were up at 4am plus cos that is about time for Subuh. By 7am, the day is already bright but it is still very early to an average Indonesian. Since Bandung is the 3rd largest city, traffic snarls or macets (pronounced machet as in chettiar) are the order of the day. Infact macet is omnipresent everywhere we went without exception. By 7am Malaysian time, our stomaches growling, we were only the second at the breakfast room. A hefty meal with fruit juices starters, fresh fruits, cereals, toast with butter and jam, half boiled eggs, Soto, cold cuts, rice with vege and black peppered beef stew and free flow of coffee/ tea. A leisurely breakfast fit for a king.

(Breakfast on the terrace)

(Later, the macet of Bandung, Angkotan Kota prevails!)

After breakfast we took a beca (trishaw) ride to the nearby train station (just for the experience cos it has been so long since we were ferried in one), made our travel arrangements for the evening and then took an Angkutan Kota (similar to our bas mini) ride to Pasar Baru. At the entrance, he received a call from a friend he was supposed to meet, who was waiting at the hotel and had to leave me there on my own. Although in the beginning I was apprehensive, the minute I laid my eyes on the beautiful cotton textile on the 5th floor of Pasar Baru, I was happy to be left to my own devices. Thanks to Johnny and Molly (formerly from JB, now married to Johnny and thus an Indonesian) I indulged in cotton from Japan, Australia, Egypt and was lost.

The many cotton material I bought would be enough to set up a small textile retail here so I opt to not share the pic here cos it would take up the whole page, hehehe....

Am I too sentimental?

AM I TOO SENTIMENTAL..............

JUST BECAUSE I WEEP AT SILLY HINDUSTANI TEAR JERKERS?

JUST BECAUSE I STILL CRY BUCKETS AT BRUCE'S GRAVE IN THE GARDEN?

JUST BECAUSE I STILL KEEP THE FIRST LOVE NOTE FROM HIM?

JUST BECAUSE SOME SONGS BRING A LUMP TO MY THROAT?

JUST BECAUSE I HESITATE FROM PRUNING THE PERIWINKLES THAT GREW FROM TWIGS I BROUGHT BACK FROM SOMEWHERE SPECIAL, THO' NOW IT HAS GROWN WILD IN MY GARDEN?

JUST BECAUSE I REMEMBER THAT IT WAS MY SHORT HAIR THAT MADE HIM WONDER ~NOW, WHO IS THAT GIRL?

JUST BECAUSE I STILL TALK TO MY CATS AS IF THEY UNDERSTAND ME?

JUST BECAUSE I WORRY FOR HIM WHEN HE DOESN'T CALL?

JUST BECAUSE I AM NOT AFRAID TO SHOW I CARE?

I think not...I am just being human.

Nasihat kepada a 14 year old who thinks she is in love

Ini sebagai pengajaran...jangan kita ingat apa yang kita buat tak ada kesan. Setiap perbuatan ada `repercussion'.

Kita ingin menduniakan jurnal kita, tapi hati kita tak cukup kuat untuk menerima pandangan/ kritikan orang terhadap apa yang kita tulis, malah pandangan orang terhadap kita sebagai seorang insan yang baru nak bertatih dalam kehidupan.

Fifi Ain bt J...masanya dah tiba untuk Fifi Ain lupakan alam fantasi dan kembali ke realiti. Fifi Ain anak yatim yang perlu berusaha untuk memantapkan diri, berusaha untuk melonjakkan keluarga KEDUA Allahyarham J B ke tahap yang lebih baik (sekurang2nya sebaik keluarga PERTAMA Allahyarham)...bukan sekadar anak yatim yang kekurangan perhatian dan material, tinggal bersama ibu yang mengusahakan sebuah warung. Bukan sekadar anak dara yang akan menambah statistik anak muda kawin bawah umur di negeri Perlis.

Sekian...Ini nasihat terakhir dari Maknjang, biar Fifi Ain rasa cara ini kejam, ini semua untuk menyedarkan Fifi Ain bahawa semua orang ingin melihat Fifi Ain menjadi orang yang berjaya di dunia dan akhirat serta insan beradab mulia seperti mana Aruah Abah Fifi Ain mahu.

Cinta boleh tunggu...takut cinta yang kita agung2kan tu menyebabkan kita menjadi monyet cinta.

Sabarlah...dewasa dan tua akan datang tanpa digamit. Sabar dan nikmatilah hidup sebagai anak yang taat, pelajar yang pintar dan berjaya, kemudiannya sebagai dewasa yang dihormati. Nanti, jika ada jodoh dan si Akim masih cintakan Fifi Ain, kawin lah. Siapa pun takkan mengahalang, tapi masanya bukan sekarang. Dan jika dia jujur dan ikhlas dengan Fifi Ain dia akan sedar bahawa budak 14 tahun tak tahu dan paham apa erti cinta.


Ingat, dunia ini kecil dan bertambah kecil dengan setiap kesalahan dan kesilapan yang kita lakukan.

2010 November 28 08:17

Phobia

It's been so long!!!

I've always enjoyed `putting pen to paper' . So it is kind of weird why I let it go for so long.

Sometimes the thoughts that flow like a raging river in my mind does not allow me to calmly and sanely express myself.

When I feel like I am obliged to do anything, I shy away or rather go across the grain...becoming unexpected and unpredictable, out of choice rather than being forced into any uncomfortable position. Sometimes hating myself in the process because I yearn for the human touch at the same time.

Am I making sense with all this gibberish talk, or does anyone think that coming of age at 49 is just way too late?

Questions, questions and more questions...will we ever find answers to our questions?

Boleh percaya ke?

I took this quiz and this is what I got:

What's your Native American Indian name? - Strong Heart

Result: Strong Heart

You have been through many storms which made you very compassionate and wise. You love to take care of others, family and friends come first.


Hmmm...Strong Heart gets tired too...

Am I?

I try to write but the right words keep evading me.

Why is it that when there is like a lump in your throat, no matter how hard you try to swallow, even peristalsis won't carry it down? And why does lumps in your throat defy gravity? Why does it stay put and choke? Cos' I really need to move on...

Some things , some events stay with you your whole lifelong I guess.

Am I just being cynical, cos I'm still alive and GOD willing, have some more good productive years ahead, how am I to know this statement for a fact?

I'm not dead yet, am I?

Forgive~ it's easier than trying to forget

(pic courtesy of Photobucket)

" Have I ever told you that I love you?"

"No."

"I do."

"Still?"

"Always."


I think about the mistake we made. I was thinking that I could forget what we did. I thought we were invincible. But now I know that the things that people in love do to each other they will always remember. And if they stay together, it’s not because they forget, but because they forgive.



" Have I ever told you that I love you?"

"No."

"I do."

"Still?"

"Always."

To a flower

Pic taken during our Taiping road trip

A phrase remembered from a long time ago.

~To a flower, teach me the secret of thy loveliness, that being made wise, I may aspire to be as beautiful in thought, word and deed, and so express immortal truths in earth's mortality...'

Lesson learnt~ life is shorter than you think

We had a scare, in fact it was so scary that it's 2.43am where I am, and I couldn't sleep a wink.

BB had passed out while driving his car near his kebun 2 days ago. When he came around, he got out of the car to inspect the damage cos he was sure he had hit something. True enough, he had hit some structural root, burst a tyre and damaged some under belly car mechanism.

He was so disoriented that he fell on his back, couldn't move and couldn't utter a single word.

His kebun hands, a few young guys, didn't know what to do and thankfully they called an ambulance and he was brought to the nearest hospital where it was determined that for some reason or other his blood sugar reading was 26, his pulse 109, his BP 129/57. It was quite clear that he had suffered some kind of mild MI (myocardial Infarction). In English~ a heart attack!

I don't know what he told the medical personnel there but he was released into the custody of a friend he had called earlier instead of me, not wanting to scare me.

I was not able to fully grasp the gravity of the situation as he did not say much about what happened.

Morning after, I saw how listless and tired he was although he had a fitful sleep the night before. I had to act fast and I managed to round him up to the GH nearby. At the AE, after describing what happened to him the day before, his case was coded RED and he was rushed through a series of tests and ECG and was promptly warded at the CRW ~ Cardio Rehab Ward.

After some further testing he was diagnosed to have suffered NSTEMI -Non ST Segment Myocardial Infarction , a kind of heart attack which occurs when one or more coronary arteries is partially occluded by a blood clot.

Still, I was able to accept the situation, made all the arrangements and got him comfortable at the ward. I had a good night sleep despite everything that happened as my body was just too tired running around the GH earlier.

But tonight, while visiting him, I heard that a patient in the ward was fighting for his life since 6pm. At 10 pm we heard sobbings and a voice frantically calling for her loved one. I assisted BB off his bed and went towards the voice.

She was a young woman in her very early twenties and she was sobbing her heart out. Her husband had just lost his fight and left her widowed. He was just 25....and they have a young boy of 3 whom the husband told her he missed so much.

All I could do was hold her hands and told her that it is GOD's will and for her to redho' with the situation. All the while I told myself that I was lucky that it was somebody else and not me.

Then it dawned on me, that it was not me, simply because it isn't BB's time yet. It had nothing to do with luck. Someday, somehow his time will come and if I am still around, I would be feeling the same overwhelming sense of loss this young lady was going through. At that time, I am sure there's nothing she cannot forgive him for, if only her forgiveness could bring him back to life. No matter how ill he had been, at least she had him while he was still alive.

I kissed BB's hand and cheek, told him to take care and that I will be back early tomorrow morning with his coffee. I vowed to live our lives in the future with that much more respect for the sanctity and fragility that was life.

His name was Muhammad Shahril and please give a prayer to his soul who is meeting his Maker on a FRIDAY...al Fatihah

'Death will not come ahead and it will not be delayed.'

3.54am

Hauntingly beautiful

Di kala senja sunyi
Terdengar suara
Seruling nak gembala
Bertiup melagu

Tepi danau menghijau
Air membentang tenang

Hilang hati nan risau
Bersama angin petang...

Kini malam menjelang
Suara seruling hilang...

A nice song for some cheek-to-cheek slow dance:



The song was written by an Indonesian, sung by a Malaysian, video scene of early autumn by the river Aare. Switzerland.

See? Our differences can be a thing of beauty!

Smart guy!

Does he look smart to you?

Well...I would say kinda smart looking for an elderly gentleman...but he sure is one smart guy...read why I think so...

He said:

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.
For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!


* Andy Rooney is 60 Minutes Correspondent (CBS)

DEDICATED TO ALL THE STUNNING SMART AND WELL COIFFED (UNDER OUR TUDUNG) HOT WOMAN OVER 40 WHO READ THIS AND ALL THE BALD PAUNCHY RELICS WITH NOTHING MORE THAN A SAUSAGE TO OFFER!

I feel GOOOOD!

February past

February is at it's tail end and this seems to be the only entry I managed for the whole month.

Time is so precious and time just seemed to have flown by me the whole month.

What do I remember this month by? I can think of about 3 meaningful events:

1) 12 Rabi`ul Awal~ The birth and death of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w

The noble soul sent as Rahmatan lil `alamin whose birthday was celebrated on the last Friday of the month. This year the celebration held so much meaning after a long while of trying to find meaning to a lot of things in my life. The Selawat we performed among the jemaah at PAKSI would hopefully gather us as His ahli syufa`ah, InsyaALLAH!

2) The meeting with Naz on her last few and precious days left in Malaysia before flying back to cold, cold Norway.

Thanks for having us Naz, and that's what you get when you haven't seen each other for ages...so much to catch up on...wish we went to see you earlier.
Though I haven't set foot on Norwegian soil, glad that my chocolates have found it's way there! We're still experiencing heat wave here and wouldn't it be just nice if you could send some snow here to bring equilibrium to the weather equation!

Salam to Trond and the kids!

3) My chocolate project which is slowly taking off with some CNY sale. So happened CNY fell on Valentine's day, which is celebrated by some, myself excluded.

A funny incident here: A friend of a friend bought herself a 15 piece box which was beautifully tied with a giant satin ribbon.

Reason: To extract some reaction from her seemingly uninitiated spouse, thinking that even if it didn't get her his attention, she would still get to enjoy the chocolates. Sounds logical isn't it? Nothing to lose and something to gain. Any smart investor would know when to bet all your chips!

Well , it did ~ cos he did give her an ~UMMM...?" when she replied she didn't know who it was from.

The thing is ...her kids didn't want her to eat the chocolates, screaming that since she didn't know who it was from, the chocolates could be charmed and she might forget all 3 of them!

Finally, she had to come clean and tell them actually she bought the box for herself!

Hmm...so much for trying to awaken the sleeping passion!

(The 48 pieces for a friend's engagement party)

I leave you with this beautiful song

Untuk semua yang merindu dan di rindu/ bilik air penuh!

Senja...berulang rindu
dan ku sebut namamu
dalam suara yang bisu
engkau kah itu?

Dan ku ulang kembali
sewaktu dalam sunyi
nyanyian kata hati
rindu kah itu?

Biarkan kemesraan berlalu
bersama kesunyian yang padu
akan ku sebut nama mu selalu
namun ada rindu yang lebih dari itu

Kasih...di mana janji
dan kau terus kah lari?
dari ku yang menanti
engkau kah itu?

Suddenly I remembered this song and the singer.

The year was 1979 and the place was the lecture hall 1 at then IPT ( Institut Pengajian Tinggi) where we Asasians were having our lectures while some other lecture hall were occupied by the Law Faculty. After so many years, the building now houses the Faculty of Business and Accountancy.

(It was a big hall and we almost fill up the hall even then)

While waiting for the next lecture to begin, Kelly (f) and I made a trip to the rest room. The corridor was quite narrow and it was a tight squeeze to pass by the undergraduates all waiting to enter the lecture halls. Finally we made it and did what we went to do.

Suddenly the door flung open and a male student entered the female rest room. Our initial reaction of irritation made way for gigglish recognition when we realised who the `bugger' was...none other than the singer himself!

.

(Male, female or alien?)

`Ye,betul lah tu, saya Sudir, sorrylah dik, tak tahan dah, bilik air lelaki penuh!' accompanied by the naughtiest of chuckle.

Although at that time he was already doing nationwide tours, we quickly made our exit for fear of getting a free show!

Well...he did show signs of bursting his seams!

(Al Fatihah)

Friday thoughts

Watch your thoughts ; they become words. Watch your words ; they become actions. Watch your actions ; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character . Watch your character; it becomes your destiny .

My friend Lee

Commenting on my last post, Lee (Jurassic Lee) wrote we...

QUOTE: sometimes have to take things and life with a pinch of salt and maybe add sprinkling of lemon grass .... UNQUOTE

Just taking Lee's advise to take life non too seriously...

(From the same source).......

Title:	Man posing in front of St. Andrew's Cathedral : front view
Subject:	Architecture and Landscape>>Building Types>>Religious Buildings Ethnic Communities Cathedrals--Singapore--Photographs Men--Singapore--Photographs Chinese--Clothing--Photographs Arts>>Architecture>>Religious buildings People and communities
Digital Publisher:	National Library Board Singapore, [194-?]
Description:	This photograph shows a Chinese man dressed in a long-sleeved jacket and long white pants standing in front of St. Andrew's Cathedral.
All Rights Reserved. National Library Board Singapore 2008.

Haiya! Lee ah!....I'm sure you don't look like this ma? Surely more handsome and probably shod in no less than a pair of Bruno Magli's


Hahaha...I had a good laugh, maybe there was just too much salt and lemon grass making my head spin...


Lee,

Barefoot or not, clothed or loin-clothed, dark-skinned or fair, we are all human.
(No offense intended , just tickling your funny bone, hope you are laughing too.)

Some cheeky neighbor!

Being next door neighbors, we practically enjoy the same food, breathe the same air, smell the same sea breeze. Like it or not, proximity wise, you cannot help but see some going-on in your neighbor's house and vice -versa. Would it it be taking it too far if I say, next door neighbors would be able to recognise each other across a darkened room? Well, you probably would be able to (recognise each other) if you have been neighbors your whole life long.

Do our neighbors really think this is how we look like?

This text accompanied the photo:

Title:	[A Malay man in traditional clothing : single]
Subject:	Ethnic Communities Malays--Malaysia--Malaya--Photographs Malays (Asian people)--Singapore--Photographs Malays--Clothing--Photographs People and communities>>Social groups and communities
Digital Publisher:	National Library Board Singapore, [19--?]
Description:	This photonegative shows a Malay man, bare-bodied and barefoot, standing with his right arm akimbo and his left resting on the trunk of a palm tree. He wears a headcloth and a white cloth with its two ends dangling down in the front and rear of the lower part of his body. Title devised by Library staff.
All Rights Reserved. National Library Board Singapore 2008.

Dear neighbors,

Stop being cheeky and update yourself. The Malays , in your country or here, have not looked like that for many, many, many years. In fact that photo was that of an Orang Asli (no offence intended) also many, many, years ago.
The only reference to time is at the Digital Publisher (19--)

Be kind and neighborly, isn't that how you want us to be?

Can't we be friends?

Tengku Shuib and his successors!

He looked resplendent in his ivory Baju Melayu, complete with black kain sampin songket with gold threaded motif. As he caught my eyes from across the room, there was a twinkle in his eyes and he gave me a meaningful wink. Yes, that was the day, we were to be united as man and wife, and the wink was a signal of a secret and hope we both shared for our life ahead.

As he lowered himself onto the tikar sila, he looked so handsome I had to pinch myself to convince myself that I was not dreaming. This guy, who had won my heart after the many who tried and failed. My prayers were that God in HIS Grace would allow this love welling inside my heart to go on till the end of time.

After the formalities were done with, the imam who was to solemnise the marriage vows came and asked me if I agreed to this union. And what is a girl to say, in this instance? To say, YES! seemed so unbecoming of how a bashful Malay bride should behave. To say, NO! is completely opposite to the joyful thumping of my heart. So, I did what I have heard from some old wives, `Kalau diam, tu tanda setuju' (Loosely translated, to keep quiet is to give consent), I smiled, lowered my head and said nothing. That seemed to be enough for the kindly Imam and he took his seat infront of my groom.

With one utterance of Aku terima nikah nya, Anneaziz dengan maskahwinnya sebanyak ...I was bound to him in law and religion as his wife. The warm, fuzzy feeling welled in my heart and for the first time in my life, I knew and felt what deliriously happy meant. Tengku Shuib and I were free to chart our life together and that day was the first day of the rest of our life.

(This is not Tengku Shuib but the happiness on the bride's face mirrored her happiness. Courtesy to LOCOPhotography)

I would wake up every morning thereafter for the next few days with the same warm fuzzy feeling in my heart. Nothing could rile me and nothing made me cross, the weather was always sunny and beautiful and there was a smile always playing on my lips.

How could a dream give me so much joy? The feeling of loving someone and being loved in return warms the heart, even though it was just a dream. Many years have passed since that day, but I could recall distinctly how he looked that night we wed. In fact I can remember his name with certainty and his face is etched in my mind.

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all~ so said Tennyson.

Thank you GOD for that experience of being in LOVE.

The second time I got married in my dream was to a face so familiar, it tickled my heart to this day. The groom is a singer cum actor and I must have watched him sing or act in a movie that evening before I plonked down for the night. Beatman, Yiko! WAKAKA! I still roll over laughing! The chances of such union is so remote that it is downright unthinkable. He would have to be blind and mute and dumb...

The third time was to a man with an old Malay name. It was just a dream that came and went and I cannot remember much of him or ` our marriage'. Except his kiss....


Dreams and its significance. Am I starved for love? Sometimes I ask myself...

Nostalgia 2nd part

Ok cat, I know I promised no more sad, nostalgic stuff, but this one is one for the road.

We'll have a meooooow of a time after this.